Breakfast With My Snitches

August 31, 2012 //

Is it just me, or do we all hit a point where certain periods in life seem so remote that they seem to have happened to someone else?

Dr. T and I took turns yesterday filling in the gaps of our common history at the job where we met. He provided thumbnail sketches of our former colleagues, and I gave them names. The roster began with a guy who routinely came into the office hours after we were expected (that’s another story) saying that he had been “having breakfast with one of my snitches.”

I am fairly certain that no one bought this, in that although we were investigators, we were not in law enforcement, and there was nothing in our duties which would require the engagement of a “snitch.” It was a running joke among my work friends, particularly since any one of us could avoid having to hit our desk at 8:00 a.m. by phoning in to say we were starting our day “in the field,” a far more elegant (and credible) explanation.

Back to that guy. I’ve always wondered whether he believed that we believed him, or whether he even believed it himself. There is something to said for a rich fantasy life…

Tags breakfast, memories, snitches

Categories Thoughts From the Attic

Thoughts From the Attic

August 30, 2012 //

Dr. T and I had lunch (delicious) today at Dos Perros. Their menu, which includes chilaquiles, prompted a Proustian discussion of past trips to Mexico, both together and pre-relationship.

(I should mention at this point that Dr. T and I met on the job at a fairly large government agency in San Diego. We both had occasion to cross the border recreationally and for business.)

It was an entertaining conversation, encompassing a roll call of our co-workers (there were some real “characters” there), and touching on the day we met, when he came to work at my office.

As I reminded Dr. T. today, I had a boyfriend on the morning I met him. In one of those Too Cute to Be Believed events, I went home from work that night and got dumped.

I remember the day pretty well after all of these years: I had some sort of car issue, and had to take the bus to work. I was wearing a short sleeved, geranium colored silk top, navy pencil skirt, and caramel colored pumps. (I think I remember this because: A) I really loved that blouse and B) the irony of feeling so cute in the morning only to go home and get dumped really stays with a girl.)

At lunch time, all those years ago, I offered to show Dr. T (who was only “T” in those days) the way to the closest ATM. “Who knew?” I asked him today at lunch.

This little trip down Memory Lane was not only pleasant, but inspiring. Next up: Breakfast With My Snitches…

Tags 9lcDr1s9CpcJHsbqbmztE9kk9-U, getting dumped, lunch, memories, Mexico

Categories Thoughts From the Attic

Back to School

August 24, 2012 //

Those big yellow buses are rolling through my neighborhood this week. Even though neither The Kid nor Dr. T. take one, they are both in school again. I went back to school in my own way last month, resuming literacy lessons with BR after the July break.

That July break extended through August for me in many ways; for some reason, all of my little routines seem to have been disrupted at once: my neighbor became unavailable for our regular walks, Dr. T. was out of school, the weather turned either viciously hot or rainy (not that THAT was a surprise) and I just generally drifted through the last two months without much of a plan.

Which is not to say that nothing got done. I have had a couple of good conversations and a great coffee date with my new Linkedin connection. I think we will stay in touch and I am already encouraged and inspired to explore finding some way to be useful in my old field.

I’ve been training in my new position at my existing job, and getting more comfortable in that role.

Several projects around here are inching toward completion, and we are having the exterior of the house painted next week (there are no words to express my glee.)

We had a small and enjoyable party for The Kid’s 21rst birthday.

There is something about the end of summer that always makes me want to start over and do better. It’s like New Year’s Eve without the threat of a hangover. I suppose my September birthday adds to the sense of the chance for a fresh start. So here I go again…

Categories Uncategorized

One Step Forward, Another Step Forward

July 9, 2012 //

Under-employment offers some advantages, including the ease with which one can excel. In the first six months of my little job, my efforts have been formally recognized three times, and I have received lots of great informal feedback from my managers. I have also been allowed more responsibility. Rather than simple floor sales, I will be able to schedule appointments to sit down with customers and develop plans for bigger projects, and I’m excited about the opportunity.

I see this job as a long-term, but not necessarily central, part of my work life. It is fun, the people I work with (and for) are wonderful, and I am developing skills in an area that has always interested me. I’m also applying skills I brought to the job. And of course, there’s the discount. I sell beautiful things for the home, and I have a home that needs many things, which might as well be beautiful.

Being officially “part-time” also keeps things fresh, and leaves me plenty of time for…

That’s the problem. Even with my puttering and my projects, my walking and my Waldo, and my lovely family, I find myself searching for somewhere to direct the rest of my energy. The years of experience in my field are jingling in my pocket, just crying out to be spent. (wow, tortured metaphor or what?)

I’ve been diverted this last year by many things (details available in previous posts), but have been inching back toward the hunt for a “big girl job” with a big girl paycheck (I have not given up my dream of hardwood floors.)

I applied for the local version of my old job when I spotted an opening in early May. I tweaked my LinkedIn profile. I asked the colleague I most admired at my last job for a recommendation, which he promptly provided. I perused LinkedIn, scanning for anyone with whom I might have some tenuous connection, who might give me some insight into the prospects for the job. I didn’t know anyone who knew anyone, but I noticed the profile of a woman who had previously held my prospective position. We seemed to have a lot in common professionally, although she has already done things I am still aspiring to: certified mediator, mitigation and sentencing specialist. I’d love to talk to her. I started composing a message, and couldn’t find the right tone. Dr. T came home and off to lunch we went.

I did not receive a response to my application, which stung a little, but was something of a relief: a full-time job could be hard to juggle with the parts of my life that are working well- studying with BR two nights a week, and my little job, and there was a certain “been there, done that” aspect to the job. Ideally, I’d come up with something that allowed me to set my schedule around my existing commitments, and give me room to grow. This train of thought pulled up right back where I started last year: mitigation specialist, certified mediator, private investigator, graduate student, freelance writer. All highly acceptable options, but how feasible? Time to start getting serious again.

About two weeks ago, I received a LinkedIn invitation from my prospective contact. Had I sent the message after all? I couldn’t find it, and decided I was becoming just that much more senile. I happily responded to the invitation, promising myself to contact her after the in-laws left. Before I got to it, she sent me a note today, saying she’d found my profile on LinkedIn, that she was interested in moving to California and hoping I might be able to offer her some information on how things are done there. She offered to provide any information I might need about working here. I expect we will meet for coffee soon. I am still grinning at the cosmic symmetry.

Tags job search, Linkedin, networking, work

Categories Uncategorized

Not Before Coffee

July 9, 2012 //

To understand this story, you must understand a little about our backyard: It consists of two levels, the lower of which includes a modest swimming pool. The lower level is mostly paved, and is surrounded by a brick wall. The rear brick wall is interrupted by steps leading to the upper part of the yard, which is mostly “wild,” covered in ivy and plant debris. There is a short wooden gate at the bottom of the steps.

This morning, as usual, I was taking Waldo to the upper portion of our backyard to conduct his personal business. Because he is a relentless digger, we keep him on a leash for these excursions. As we stepped outside, we both noticed our neighbors’ orange cat perched on the brick wall. I said hello, Waldo began to bark. I crouched to calm him down, and to remind him that We Like This Kitty. Before I could accomplish that, I caught something in my peripheral vision, headed our way. A squirrel? Vole? Mouse? Please, not a rat! A BABY BUNNY! How cute! As I was attempting to register this surprising episode of adorableness, the bunny leapt into the pool.

I entreated Waldo to stay still and be calm, realizing as I did that there was no chance of that happening. I kept one eye on him and the other on the cat as I sat at the pool’s edge, attempting to grab the rabbit with my free hand. As my feet hit the water I recognized the complete awkwardness of what I was doing. I was now close enough to see that the rabbit was injured, and finally made the connection between kitty and bunny. I also remembered the pool net.

Back on my feet, I reached for the net. With Waldo’s leash planted under one foot, I was able to scoop out the rabbit. I left him on the ground, wrapped in the net, while I made my way up the stairs with Waldo, who was deeply interested in all of this, but remarkably manageable.

I spoke firmly to the cat, took Waldo inside, and called for backup from TMIM.

Making plans to search for a local wildlife rescue, I poured my first coffee of the morning and headed back outside. “He’s in the bushes,” said Dr. T, “he’s pretty chewed up.”

So much for the rescue plan: I was not about to crawl through the Nandina searching for this poor scared creature, but I could do one thing. Coffee in hand, I called to the cat. We are old friends, and he immediately followed me to the side yard. I sat on the step; he hopped onto my lap. We chatted. I reminded him of my previous admonitions against killing and maiming the birds and critters in my yard. He might have pretended to agree with me, but I know he is still a stone cold killer. I just hoped to distract him long enough to allow the bunny to escape or die in peace.

I know nature is harsh. Rabbits are prey animals, and cats will kill. I know that dozens, if not hundreds, of life or death dramas play out in and around my yard. I’d just rather not participate.

Tags bunnies, cats, coffee, dogs, swimming pools

Categories Uncategorized

Requiem For a Lady

June 25, 2012 //

She was past her prime when I found her on Craigslist. Although I wasn’t with TMIM when he picked her up in Chapel Hill, I could tell when I met her that she had spent time in one of the finer homes there: her on-line picture had done her justice. She was long and elegant, and her dress, while dated, had once been in the best of taste.

She wasn’t supposed to stay with us forever. Dr. T and Maggie needed someone in the family room until I could move back in and make permanent arrangements. I imagine she felt cramped in our little paneled den, and probably better than her new surroundings. To be fair, I knew she wasn’t a perfect match- far from it. But we all make compromises from time to time. She needed a place to stay, and the price was right for me. Maggie, bless her uncritical heart, loved the lady immediately.

Months turned to years. The Kid moved back to Durham, and the lady adapted. I shuddered to think of the indignities she suffered at the hands of The Kid and her friends while Dr. T visited me in California.

I came home to stay. Maggie died, and some months later, Waldo came to live with us. He has never treated the lady with the respect Maggie showed her- I often caught him nipping at her dress and gnawing her legs.

We found someone more suitable for the family room, a brawny guy in buckskin. The lady went to the living room, where she almost fit in. Almost. Waldo continued to torment her when we weren’t watching. He scarred her legs and ripped her skirt. There was talk of the lady moving in with one of The Kid’s friends, but nothing came of it. The lady’s isolation seemed to make her more derelict by the day. Tonight, she will go to the curb. Wednesday, she will be picked up and taken “away.” I don’t like to think of it.

I catch her from the corner of my eye. “I could work here,” I think I hear her say. I tell her I’ve considered it, and we both know it’s just not right. “Well then, what about Craigslist again? It worked once.” I remind the lady she isn’t the same as she was four years ago. Does she really want to end up at Duke, to be immolated during basketball season? We both fall silent, embarrassed. Tonight will be awkward, but it will be all over by Wednesday. I hope it doesn’t rain before then. That would be too much for her to take.

Tags Craigslist, sofa

Categories Uncategorized

Note to Self: Google First, Write Second

June 18, 2012 //

In deference to any and everyone who has used the brilliant name “Haphazard Homemaker” I am hereby doing a bit of rebranding, and will filing future posts under the category “Slap-happy Homemaker” to avoid offense or confusion.

Categories Uncategorized

Perfect is Good; Finished is Better

June 18, 2012 //

Those of you with the patience to stay with me know that I love a project. Or at least I love to start a project. (what recliner cushion?) I’ve given my tendencies some thought, and believe I can attribute my project ADD to the following factors:

My struggle with self-confidence: I’ve progressed to the point that I can take on a challenge, but stall out when I reach the point at the peak of my skill level, which explains that pesky cushion.
Indecision: Although I have painted both smaller bedrooms twice (once when we first moved in, and once when we came back) and the dining room and living room once (I could never convince TMIM that we needed to- he liked the color when we moved in) it took me years to choose a color for our bedroom. I got three walls done, then wanted to do something different on the wall behind our bed. But what? The wall remains the same tired parchment color it was when I started. Indecision may be my biggest problem, and I suppose it relates back to that darn lack of self-confidence.
Boredom: Sometimes the fun runs out before the work does. Getting the first few kitchen cabinet doors primed, painted and hung is thrilling. The charm fades with the remaining five, and I start looking around for something a little more fun, a little fast. (Maybe it’s not project ADD, but project promiscuity.)
Lack of $.
Weather: Around here, the heat and humidity can really put a crimp in plans to paint or garden. I was relying on our typical mild spring weather when I made plans to paint my kitchen cabinets. Instead, May was more like our typical July: hot and muggy and rainy. (I will be the first to admit that weather does not impact my ability to work on sewing projects, but with all the painting paraphernalia strewn about, I cringe at dragging out the machine and sewing box.)
Age and decrepitude: I used to be able to paint an entire room in one day. I used to be able to paint for two full days in a row. My hands did not used to hurt. There. I said it.

The cabinet frames are finished; three of the doors are finished and hung. While I was at it, I painted the door between the kitchen and the family room. (I started on the crown molding as well, following the cabinets.) It looks good, and much the way I pictured it. I have primed the last doors, and hope to get them up in the next couple of days. I will need to finish the crown molding before I can allow myself to move to the next color, on the back splash and the soffits above the cabinets. (Maybe the other walls too- indecision strikes again.)

Categories Slap-happy Homemaker

The In-laws are Coming! The In-laws are Coming!

June 18, 2012 //

And a good thing that is, too. I love my husband’s brother and his wife for their own dear selves, but I especially love them right now because we are compelled to get our third bedroom in order to properly receive them.

After spending the last year leaning casually against the walls, the bed frame will be assembled and get a new mattress. The extra desk, a tall secretary, will make its way out to the kitchen or family room (decisions, decisions) and in its place, we will hang a shelf for our emergency back-up TV. (after I finally paint that wall!) While I am at it, I’ll paint the inside of the closet, which has been left mostly empty so that I could do that very thing.

I’ve already been consolidating and storing the various craft materials and boxes of photos and other memorabilia, which I will finally be able to put into the closet or stash under the bed, once it is put together.

None of these little projects is too difficult; the hardest part is determining the order of operations: for example, the reason that the wall behind the desk is not already painted is that the desk came back with Dr. T in 2008, and we didn’t decide on a room color until one of my visits in 2009. The desk was already in place, and since no one was staying in the room, we just left painting that wall for another time. (Just as well, really, since it turns out that the color, in a room with south and east facing windows, is a little more “vibrant” than I anticipated. I now have a chance to paint the west wall and closet in a calmer cousin of the original color.)

But before the wall gets painted or the bed gets assembled, the remaining few kitchen cabinet doors need to be finished. I have been using this room to prime and paint them because I can shut myself in and away from Waldo, both while I paint and while the paint dries. (And yes, I knew that bringing a puppy home in the middle of a painting project was not the best idea, but I can’t say I’m sorry.) The doors should be finished and hung by Wednesday night, leaving the floor clear for bed making. After I ~~shove everything~~ carefully stow things under the bed, there will be room to paint the closet, and the wall next to it.

On the planet where I am marvelously efficient and energetic, I’d get some other things done too, but I won’t jinx myself right now by mentioning them. Believe me, if I get to any of them, you will hear about it.

In a shining example of the universe rising to meet my needs, I have an extremely light work week, and I will take every advantage of that. Back to work I go. I’ll be posting while my paint dries from now on…

Tags in-laws, painting, projects

Categories Slap-happy Homemaker

The Haphazard Homemaker

June 18, 2012 //

I aspire to a beautiful home, but have come to realize that I do not have the temperament, attention span, or financial resources to attain one by conventional means. Whatever progress I make in the direction of my goal seems to be the result of disturbingly long periods of time where I stare at the offending areas in and outside of the house, look at magazines and online resources (talking to you, Pinterest!) and finally make a plan, followed by spurts of activity wherein something gets done. Or more often, partly done. Then eventually, finished.

Because of the large number of ongoing projects which follow this pattern, I am initiating a category of this blog, called, you guessed it- “The Haphazard Homemaker.” Because that is what I am.

Tags home improvement, Pinterest, projects, unfinished projects

Categories Slap-happy Homemaker, Uncategorized

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